can you love someone again after hating them
I cheated and had sex with several men. You can do it - you are already doing amazingly well. Another, which got so serious she stayed with her sister, for over a few months, so she could focus on a relationship with a guy that lived on the other side of the country. But this means that you become vulnerable. We talked at length about how hurt I was, and how I said one thing and him doing something else without even asking (I probably would have consented had he asked before he did it) made me feel like he had disrespected me. If you loved someone very much would you ever want to watch their self destruction? I choose to love myself and to aim for my own happiness. She recently went through my phone after she saw a text from one of my ex. Last night I had to go into work at 4am and I wanted him to lay with my until i fell asleep. I also lost my mum at the age of 9, which comes with its own issues. Valentines Day we reconciled. I had a serious relationship with the man but we eventually broke it off because I couldnt get over my friend .. He is waiting on an answer but it is killing him inside I know. Do you think my husband is really in love with his co worker like he says meaning theres just no chance of our marriage ever getting better and us not getting divorced. Thats why I went there. But a genuine person has a look in their eyes that cant be faked, and a voice thats full of love. I really dont know what to do. I keep telling her that it takes time and maybe the feelings of support will lead to more feelings, at least I hope so. June of 2013, I had taken the physical abuse pretty far and had hurt her fairly bad. I cant be friends with someone who broke my heart with no feeling and so easily. But my experience is different. I will never use again. Mentioned it to me but not when it had happened and didnt really seem to make a big thing of it. Although she told me there are always bunch of people upstairs and the place is uncomfortable. This is the reason why I decided to travel alone. When a person is having problems in his marriage is the WORST time to strike up a relationship. Here is a list of crisis resources that may be helpful: (He says she listens.) 1. I feel so bad for what I have done to this woman that I truly love and respect! Second of all, I dont know what you mean by Ive worked through my issues. The way I do therapy, there is a need to start with Self-Love because the lack of it causes people to feel like victims way too often. She keeps them bottled in. I have been married for 21 years to a great man. Im trying to deal with my depression and going to counselling and he refuses to see or care that not living in our home with him is actually going to add to my depression not help me over come it. We have been together for 5 and half years, bought a house together a little over a year ago and got engaged nearly a year ago with dates set and most things provisionally booked bridesmaids dresses even bought. You feel exhilarated because after carefully letting down your guard to someone, this person has appreciated having been given the tremendous gift of you. When you both argue, it would be intense and can lead to name-calling and threats of breaking up. Marriage should not be taken lightly. Were on the same team!! My boyfriend of about a year and I both cheated on each other and lied I each other about it. I will check out your new course. Good luck. Well the ex finally got a , I have begun to change my routines, I am trying to bring the romance back, I am trying to change the way I think, and I have my first counseling session set up for this Friday. After that I would find little things here and there and would bring them to his attention. I know that trust and love can be rebuilt, and at one time I wished that my story wouldve been a success story. I have said everything multiple times and get no response. We live in an age where we are not content with settling. You will not succeed against the drugs. She came for one thing as usual MONEY. Mom idealized the ex wife and son likely feels like a failure in moms eyes. Thats why she kept coming to me. I started to see her less and less and took her for granted as it went on, while she was still madly in love with me and only wanted it to work. Romantic love feels great but it only works welland long termwith the right person. if there are any suggestions to better my future and rebuild the love I once felt for her and have her love me back please I ask any comments to be said. 3 Keys to a Spectacular Marriage is on the menu of my site. Someone help :(. I noticed a change in how he acts and looks at me, so I asked him what was going on. I dont think love is enough. So therefore I feel this will never change. We both knew she liked him but he didnt feel that way about her. And i said thank you so much for everything. She thought i was home because me and her have been exchanging emails back and fourth. she said shes forgiven me but doesnt think well ever be together again. You may have chemistry with them, or they may have qualities that you're still attracted to.. Ive been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 10 months now but we have some issues. And then HE cheated and he doesnt want to give YOU another chance??? It sounds like a good beginning to be helpful with household things, but only a beginning. Hello. I have now distanced myself from him (something that he said he didnt want) and have realised i need help. The Similarities Between Twin Flames and Soulmates 1. What should I do? But he is not willing to forgive me and one more chance to our marriage. Our problems began after 3 months of being together he cheated on me because he got mad at me so I broke up with him, but the next day I found out I was pregnant, and truly wanted nothing more than to be with him. Can I ever trust him again? Even though i knew him. The issue is that he wants me to be fully committed and upbeat and in a happy place with this and Im not. A week later he came to me saying he cant stand not having me in his life and so we got back to what we were, however, I was soon to learn that during the week we were not speaking, he began sleeping with one of my friends, and this continued even though we were trying to make things work again. She stated she does want to try to make it work for the sake of our son but doesnt know if shell ever love me ever again. Any advice would be amazing. We are also very different so I dont know why we held on to each other this long but I also know that I couldnt go on without him. However, both have to be willing to work on things. So those are 3 areas to work on in therapy. I tried to find a way to, but Instead I let him continue in order to not make him feel bad for the alcohol induced performance problems And in doing that I disrespected my husbands feelings. Can i save this? She said yes. The next several years were disastrous, now that Im really looking back on them, he was little help with our first child, he always disrespected me in front of people, talked down to me, my requests didnt matter, and he had a terrible temper, he would break things and put holes in walls, but at least he never put his hands on me. i have apologised through texts and we fought on the ex issue also . The fact that he is back and forth with you tells me that. I would suggest he give up on her while he actively checks on himself and how hes doing with trusting you. And you should not have gone there, either. Three days later after much soul searching, and some advice from a good friend, I have realized that I am mostly at fault for where we are now. None of that is helping. THEN you can permit yourself to enjoy the excitement of falling in love. We would go a few days or a week being normal but it always came up, and to be honest she never TRULY believed me. You know a couple just like this. I think there is some investigating you should do into your deepest self to uncover this stuff because it affected your relationship. So I was wondering if indeed her relationship with the guy is not that serious. Have you tried mariage counseling ? For me he isnt like any of my past boyfriends with him it is different he just made me feel so much more confident in myself and I felt comfortable around him even felt more comfortable with PDA with him except I need some advice. It had been over for 3 years. Of course Ive been tested and done all the practical things but the guilt is why I suffer because he is a wonderful person and did not deserve that. He never drank excessively before. What about what I suggested doing things that he cares about? Also, he has treated me as more of a worker always reminding me that I have to earn my keep like a stay at home should yet at the same time he comments on how easy I have it. I had developed a headache just before we were meant to go out for the night so I was in bed. We have two girls ages 5 & 9. And I cant understand whats on his mind. Or if we should even have this time spent for ourselves in the first place. It is big and should not be minimized. Dr Deb, You must not put yourself down for doing this. And then, for whatever reason, we seemed to go back to the normalcy of our relationship while still going to therapy. Like I said I never had a good example of a man or what to do in a healthy relationship, so for the most part I was kind of clueless on the fundamentals, so I made a lot of rookie mistakes. She was upset really bad and I said I will not give her anything. And it kept bothering me every day. Hi, my fiance and I were together for 8 years. Hysterical, inconsolable. Ive been with my husband for 26 years. Of course i never did. If your heart is broken, maybe you need to take action on that. Hi Tina, I am clean and sober again, but I have been very emotionally abusive (not intentionally) in the past. He moved four months before us, I was scared to move and told him I wasnt sure if I wanted to move or to be with him. I was so in love with this man, more so than I was with my husband. Perhaps she is just immature or selfish? Once you are more able to cope with stress, you can tell your gf you took this thing seriously and have actually done something about it. I will do absolutely anything to earn her back. I guess the reason she cheated because I was sort of distancing myself because of school. It might simply mean that the couple has grown apart and cannot seem to make their way back together again. I guess this is a good forum to atleast share and talk of what I am going though. I have been dating this guy for a little over 3 and half years and we got off to a rocky start a few months into our relationship when my ex decided all of a sudden after not speaking to me for 6 months just had to be back in my life and showed up at my house trying to talkI made a point to be sure to tell the current bf because I didnt want to lie to him, well because I was very open with him about my past relationships he was not to thrilled and since has had some major trust issues. My kids do as well. Hi Shelly So he took the car, picked them up & gave them a lift home. Do think this would be a right choice to make? Its miserable spending everyday of a relationship already knowing hes going to leave and having a countdown in my head because it happens every single time. You may find that if he finally commits, you will feel safer and you will not act that way. The thing is, I cant do this without him. John R. Rice. Before you have complete trust, he will be able to explain why he used to do it and why looking at other women means zero to him now. I am trying my absolute best to save my relationship. He broke up with me three times, for a few weeks in between. (with many racy messages and pics, that linger in my mind) I still loved and missed her so much. He didnt tell me about this girl. I hope helps you make your final decision accurately. That is no help. If I should tell him, how would I assuage that conversation? My wife was self employed for 7 years and had serious ups and downs with her income. HI my comment is really good information but when someone wearing those shoes is really hard to do things the right way because is too much pain and feel desperate to get the person you love back is a lot things you dont know how to deal with this is my storie ,I met this wonderful guy 17 years ago but 4 years ago he desired he want to go back to school we didnt have the money but i support his desition so we move to another state but i was having trouble find it a job so i desired to move back and leave my husband and my youngest daughter together so i was working to jobs to support him for almost 4 years now hes done with school and find a job but has not been paying the much so is hard to survive we 3 together so i still at the same place working 2 jobs trying to support my self and also helping him when i can well now after 4 years been a part he say he doesnt love me anymore and i am devastated because i feel betrayed for the whole situation. I REALLY Love this woman, I will do everything for her and I cant throw in the towel What should I do? What can you do? A lot of my self worth and the way I give and receive love is tied up in physical validation. But she still bothers me about renting a place for herself,her brother and baby. She said she needed to take two steps back, that she felt I needed time to figure out what I want, etc. threatening to commit suicide if we left each other and on my part I hurt her in several instances by pretending to be mad at her to take advantage of her head-over-heels status for me. I am glad I came across this thread because I am having trouble fully trusting my boyfriend again. I was hurt & disillusioned. The excitement of falling in love with this man, more so than I was wondering if her... Before we were meant to go out for can you love someone again after hating them night so I asked him what was going on son... 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